Coaching from the sidelines

This summer, my husband and I attended the Roger’s Cup in Montreal, Canada. My husband is an avid tennis fan, and I came along for the experience. I loved seeing the players, with their support crew. All of them had a coach, and some had a full crew (ie Rafa Nadal – obviously, as world #2, he plays at a whole other level, and his support team is also bigger).

What was interesting for me, was seeing these player/coaches/support teams in practice and in actual matches. I learned that while in practice, your coach and team can be with you, giving you step-by-step guidance, in Masters and Grand Slam tennis tournaments, your coach has to sit in the sidelines, with the audience. The reason for this, is that pro-tennis players, need to learn to play and win on their own. They need to learn to deal with the pressure, create strategy, trust their gut. and win BY THEMSELVES.

This was interesting to hear as I am often asked how long can coaching continue. And while I would love to have a client who works with me forever, that is not the goal of coaching. The goal of coaching is for the client to get support during major challenges, but to use and strengthen resources within him/her so that eventually, you can coach yourself, or even go it alone.

So with the ultimate goal of learning to make it on your own, how do you do this?

• Set realistic and achievable goals – Once you have reached your goal, that is usually a time when the coaching relationship has proved successful and you are ready to be more independent. At the beginning, you need to be clear on what you want, as coaching will only help you to get there. The goals need to be realistic and achievable within the time frame of the coaching journey.

• Don’t end prematurely – while cost is a major consideration when starting a coaching relationship, there is something even more valuable than money. It is time. Clients need to carve out time and space to be present for coaching. If you don’t, it will take more time to reach your goal. Sometimes, it is tempting to just quit mid-stream, because of a lack of time. I caution against this. Imagine if you were seeking treatment for an illness, would you stop before you are completely healed? If you began coaching, there must be something really important you need to work on. Don’t quit before your work is done.

• Deliver on your commitments – the power of coaching does not end with the session. In fact, the session is usually, only the beginning. Real change only happens when you take that first step to make it happen. In each coaching session, you will come up with actions you have committed to. Follow-thru on this. Only then, will you realize the change you want to make. Small changes over time yield big results!

• Get some perspective – before you end your coaching journey, it is good to take stock of how far you have come, and what you have achieved. I love this session with clients as it allows them to realize how far they came, and to take a moment to enjoy and celebrate their success. If you have reached your goal, then it is the right time to end the coaching journey, and you are ready to go it alone. But be honest, if you have not really gotten there, maybe you need more time so give yourself that.

• Create a supportive environment – even after the coaching journey ends, and you have the tools to be independent, its always good to surround yourself with the right people. People who understand you, your dreams and new goals, and who will give you their greatest resource, their time, when you need it. Just because you are ready to play your game on your own, does not mean, you won’t continue to need support.

The end of a coaching journey is always such a high! It is a combination of achieving your goals, realizing that you made it happen, and that success is always possible, if you commit to making it happen.

As a coach myself, I’d love to see my clients playing at their own Grand Slams, and knowing that while I now sit on the sidelines, I contributed to their success. It’s why I do what I do.